In sickness and in health. Bachelorette season 1 winner Ryan Sutter opened up about how his wife, Trista Sutter, is helping him amid his battle with a mysterious illness.
“I’ve learned a lot about resiliency this year. I’d imagine we all have?” the 46-year-old firefighter began his lengthy update on Tuesday, December 29, via Instagram. “For years I followed the ideal laid out by Gandhi that strength was measured by an indomitable will. I pushed myself to develop a mindset that would not give up, give in or give off any sign of weakness. I did this mostly on my own, choosing solitude as my practice ground. Though I had breakdowns, few ever saw them. Mostly I internalized difficulty and distracted myself from its presence through physical exertion. It worked for me. I felt confident.”
Ryan went on to say that he felt “resilient” until he got sick earlier this year.
“Though I still believe there is tremendous value in a strong will and self-reliance, I realize now that sometimes those things are romantic excuses for stubbornness. Sometimes it is necessary to let others in, to ask for help and to accept it,” he wrote. “For me, health concerns brought on this realization, eventually forcing me to expose what I considered to be weakness. Once exposed however, weakness became opportunity. I was no longer alone in my struggle. My wife went on a mission, developing a medical strategy and path towards hopeful answers while at the same time leaving daily reminder notes to keep my spirits up.”
Ryan and Trista, 48, wed in 2003 after meeting on season 1 of the Bachelor spinoff. They share son Max, 13, and daughter Blakesley, 11. The OG Bachelorette revealed last month that her husband was struggling to get a diagnosis as he struggled to the point of not being able to work or cook or exercise.
“My family has rallied behind me, my friends have shown tremendous support and my colleagues a high degree of understanding and patience. For all of this I am grateful,” he wrote on Tuesday.
The father of two added that the intent of his post was to explain that “resiliency is not a solo act.”
He continued: “It is not expected nor probably even possible for a single person to provide the entirety of their own resilience. I will always work to increase my personal tolerance of adversity and challenge my ability to be self reliant. However, I know with certainty that I can not solve every problem – that suffering is not always overcome by an indomitable will. As difficult as it may be, soliciting the help of others is a critical step in moving forward through difficult times. I appreciate all the help I have received and know that through it I am a better, stronger, more knowledgeable and more resilient man.”
Trista previously revealed that it was a “huge relief” to find out Ryan didn’t have cancer as she emphasized their desire for answers.
“Especially after fighting to find a doctor to take symptoms that lined up with lymphoma seriously and advocating for the scans to rule it out,” she wrote. “We lived a fairy tale on TV and have a great life for all intents and purposes, but answers would be nice. So, I’m going to keep praying for answers and am hopeful that if you are the praying type, that you’ll think of Ryan when the time comes to send up a message.”