Friday, May 14

Colton Says He Was Trying to 'Hold on to Being Straight' During Cassie Drama

Colton Underwood delved deeper into his journey toward publicly acknowledging that he is gay, revealing he didn’t tell ex Cassie Randolph he was coming out.

New portions of the 29-year-old former Bachelor’s interview with Robin Roberts aired during the Thursday, April 15, episode of Nightline.

When asked whether he’s talked to Randolph, 25, “at all” about his journey, Underwood replied, “I don’t know if I ever will get the chance to sit down and talk with her. I would like to. I would like to say sorry for how things ended. … I made mistakes at the end of that relationship.”

Us Weekly exclusively revealed on Wednesday, April 14, that Randolph, 25, was “not made aware” that he was coming out as gay on Good Morning America.

“To be honest, she hasn’t really had time to navigate how she feels about it yet,” a source told Us.

Underwood came out during a sit-down with Roberts, 60, which first appeared on the Wednesday edition of GMA. “This year’s been a lot for a lot of people and it’s probably made a lot of people look at themselves in the year and figure out who they are,” he said. “I’ve ran from myself for a long time, I’ve hated myself for a long time. I’m gay. I came to terms with that earlier this year, and the next step in all of this was sort of letting people know. … I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. That means the world to me.”

The reality star then revealed when his “wake-up call” occurred. “I got into a place with my personal life that was dark and bad, and I can list a bunch of different things, but they’d all be excuses,” he noted. “But I think overall the reason why now is because I got to a place where I didn’t think I was ever going to share this. I would have rather died than say, ‘I’m gay.’”

Underwood chose Randolph during season 23 of The Bachelor, and the two left the show together without getting engaged during the 2019 finale. They announced their split in May 2020, signaling at the time that they were better off as “friends.” However, things turned messy in September 2020 when she filed a restraining order against him, claiming that he placed a tracking device on her car. He denied her allegations, and the order was ultimately dropped in November 2020.

Underwood claimed on Wednesday that he was in love with Randolph while they were dating.

“That only made it harder and more confusing for me,” he noted. “I loved everything about her and it’s hard for me to articulate exactly what my emotions were in going through that relationship with her was because I obviously had an internal fight going on. I would just say that I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry for any pain and emotional stress I caused. I wish that it wouldn’t have happened the way that it did. I wish that I had been courageous enough to fix myself before I broke anybody else.”

The TV personality also revealed his hopes for his love life. “I’ve never allowed myself to,” he said of pursuing a relationship with a man. “It’s never been, sort of, in my cards to let myself get there and I want to more than anything.”

Scroll through for everything new Underwood said on Nightline:

Colton Says He Was Trying to 'Hold on to Being Straight' During Cassie Drama colton-says-he-was-trying-to-hold-on-to-being-straight-during-cassie-drama
The Responses

Underwood revealed one of his childhood friends was “waiting” for him to come out. “She was like, ‘The Bachelor sort of threw me off, but, like, I’ve been waiting for this conversation.’ And she broke down in tears,” he said.


Matt Baron/Shutterstock

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Wants to Be a Dad

“I’m still looking to be a dad. I never knew you could be gay and be a dad,” he said. “I found that out this year as well. I found a lot of things out.”

Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/Shutterstock

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What’s Next

“Life,” he replied when Roberts asked “what’s next” for him. “I get to breathe. I get to take all this weight off my back and my shoulders. I get to publicly and outwardly be happy and be me. All of me.”


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